The Vindicated Hypochondriac: Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

September 2009... me, at 39yrs. old

my husband took this picture

5 months before

we found out that I had

breast cancer

Well...this is me.
And this was (a REALLY good picture of) my hair...all 50 pounds of it.
Things are well controlled here, however, it took Herculean efforts.

Crazy thick, super heavy, wavy in zig-zags (only underneath) and coarser than an old mare's dirty tail...I had a love-hate relationship with my tresses for as long as I could remember.
To maintain that mess of a mop, expensive oils, gooey pomades and sticky straightening balms were administered daily, prior to it being scorched mercilessly between blistering hot iron plates...seared until it was almost crunchy.

Way worse, though...other than the not-so-subtle scent of barbecue'd Barbie...was when my hair had it's many frizz-fests. In the dripping, pea soup humidity of central Florida, watching my hair expand in the outdoors was like watching super fast, time lapse video of a growing Chia Pet.
It would floof out so triangularly in it's shape, that my head would perfectly resemble a Pile of Poo Emoji.

(minus the smile)

Such high maintenance, my old hair was...and quite ridiculous to live with, too.
Hell...even my mother didn't want to deal with it!
When I was young, she always kept me short.
Against my wishes, the Dorothy Hamill cut was what I was forced to live with.
While the other girls were expertly feathering their "Farrah's", and perfecting their Chrissy Snow piggies, I trudged through most of the formative years with a giant bouncing mushroom encircling my head.

(This just might explain a few things)

I should've been happy for it to fall out.
What a nice break, right?
Maintenance free, natural air conditioning...

BUT.

I was definitely not one of those cancer patients who could bravely step out of the house without something covering my head, and I do admire the Hell out of those who can...
but there was NO FUCKING WAY that I was going to walk around like that.

I wanted so much to avoid the stares.
Holy Jeeeez...
those (pity) stares.
And of course, the inevitable conversations about their brother's friend's cousin's half sister who died of the same exact thing I have.

I couldn't imagine.

So here are some photos of how my hair challenged melon endured the traumas of pre-chemo, pre-emptive hair cuts...and the many months of chemotherapy induced baldness.

Thankfully, from what I learned (after the fact) about one of the drugs I was given (Taxotere)...
I'm fortunate to have had any hair return all!!!

Also thankfully, what did return barely resembles what was there before...
It's less than half as thick.

(SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!)

Straight as a board, without ironing

(WooHoooooo!)

...and this go 'round, it's soft and smooth without all of the expensive products!

(Hallelujah!)

This new hair is exactly what I had wished for!

(back in the day)

Weird, huh?

Yes weird...
but in a very good way weird :)

first pre emptive cut
pre mastectomy
pre chemo...

second cut
post mastectomy
pre chemo

third cut
post mastectomy
pre chemo

I decided to shave my head
before all of my hair
fell out

May 4, 2010
I went completely bald 13 days
after my first round of chemo...2 days
before my 40th birthday.
Even though they thinned,
thankfully I never completely lost my eyebrows.
(or that weird little hair on my left knuckle)

MEET THE GIRLS! I HAD SO MANY WIGS, HAIR PIECES, HATS AND SCARVES

(I'm almost ashamed to say) BUT I DID TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF FUN WITH ALL THE DIFFERENT LOOKS

May 6, 2010
My 40th Birthday…
First time "out" in a wig

This became my favorite wig...
I looked most like "the old me" when I looked in the mirror.
(and though they were harder than over-inflated
rubber inner tubes...check out how nicely those expanders
filled out my dress. Yowza!!!)

I always wanted to be a brunette...so I bought this
hot little number...and it was the most comfortable and most
complimented wig in my collection. Women often
asked me who cut my hair! I never told
any of them it was a wig! I would give them my hairdresser's
number...then I'd call her with the alert that somebody would be making
an appointment for the "black wig cut"...I think she cut
3 ladies' hair that way...heehee!

I was excited to be a featured volunteer in the
American Cancer Society of Florida's
"Put On Your Pink Bra" Campaign.
It was shot 1/29/11 at USF Studios in Tampa.

I often wore "halos"...they were
hair pieces that were missing
the tops. They weren't bulky
or hot like the wigs...
and they fit perfectly under
ball caps, beanies and scarves

my blonde "halo", scarf & favorite "message"

"YAAAAAY HAIR!!!"

The Re-Growth Report......

August 16, 2010
"take me to your leader"
W.T.F.

late Sept. 2010...
3 months after my last dose of chemo
(which was June 23, 2010)…
and 2 weeks after the chemo port/ breast expanders
removal and (silicone) implant reconstruction