I sat motionless, staring blurry-eyed through the computer screen as if it were a psychedelic Magic Eye painting...but the only image I was seeing was the one of my life rushing by.
My back ached from the usual hunched-over-the-keyboard-posture.
The weight of my head was supported by a wobbling left arm...my hand squishing my left cheek up in to my eyeball.
Right hand on the mouse, the index finger hovered...I was one quick click away from spewing the announcement of my disease out into the universe.
The announcement looked good.
It said what it needed to say.
I was confident that this was undoubtedly the right way to let everyone know. I had even typed it up on some light hearted, blue "stationary" with bubbly, white, comic sans script to make the news appear less menacing...I hoped.
The last thing I wanted to do was make anybody feel awkward when they saw me.
Then IT DAWNED ON ME...
it's the WEEKEND!!
I can't send this horrid thing out on a weekend!
I am not a "Debbie Downer".
I refuse to cast a dark cloud over anyone's weekend.
I'll save the news for Monday...Mondays suck anyway.
I went to the kitchen and juiced an enormous bunch of organic carrots. This is very quickly becoming routine...I have read so many good things about the benefits of drinking fresh, organic veggie juice. And, though it's a royal pain in the ass cleaning the damn machine... the time consuming mess of it is definitely worth it.
Actually, long story short...many years ago, my second cousin was diagnosed with a tumor in his lung. He then started drinking carrot juice to the point of turning orange. After months of doing it, his tumor disappeared!
So I figure if that's what it takes to beat this, I will juice myself in to Oompa Loompa Land!
